got the job. which is funny, because i'm pretty sure that i couldn't work my mouth or my brain properly for the entire interview.

there were a few other applicants, and the director said that a fourth person was being interviewed this afternoon, but he'd decided already that i'd fit the bill perfectly.

i'm almost sure that i did nothing amazing during that half hour.

maybe i got it because the director laughed at the way my face lit up when i saw the law students wearing flip-flops in the office.

woke up at 4am after having a freaky dream - driving on the freeway, when i started to feel sleepy... wanted to pull over, but my head wouldn't move back up, and i couldn't feel my foot anymore. the car sped up, and i didn't know how to control it, and i couldn't stop because my foot wouldn't respond, and my head kept dropping lower and lower and i couldn't even force it back up. it was like i was in an edgar-suit.

woke just before i rear-ended the car in front of me.

then i went back to dreaming, and i was in some kind of music school. it was study-hall time, but instead of desks, we had these complicated keyboards. my brother was there, and so was Ian. there was a spare keyboard between them, so i made my way over. a mike-stand appeared out of nowhere and i ended up tangled in the cables, and then on the floor in a heap. i caught the edge of Ian's keyboard with the mike-stand, fell over again, and Ian's music books toppled off his keyboard and landed on my head.

major ow.

Ian helped me up, but the whole time i was thinking, ow, ow, screw this, i don't want to play anymore, music bloody HURTS!

and i'm completely unco into the bargain.

i wandered outside to the back courtyard, which was lit up with yellowy-orange garden lights. Grandma came with me. we sat on a nice white wooden swing, and flipped through a big magazine together - it was a catalogue of yachts and fancy boats, the kind that super-rich people take out fishing or hold small parties on. Gran knew her yachts... and she kept pointing out which ones were best value for money and she even recommended one to buy.. apparently i was in the market for some sort of fun-boat. it was like shopping for your first car, only this was a boat. and Gran seemed to be the expert.

i didn't question that at the time, but now that i think about it, there's no way i'd be able to understand Gran if she talked about boats, because i don't even bloody know the cantonese word for yacht, and i doubt Gran knows any english boating vocabulary. or much about boats. though, i guess it's possible.. Grandad worked on cruise ships and the like. he was a sailor of sorts, i think. so maybe she'd know about boating from him.

still, the boats looked pretty damn nice.

went to Mosskito's for dinner & drinks with the hongkie crew. Will brought his new girlfriend - she was cute and nice but so quiet all night! i think we scared her... hopefully she'll come to Jun's graduation and also the BBQ & boat-race at studley park next month.

she has good taste, i can tell that much - her shoes were AWESOME COOL. we're talking dorothy in wizard-of-oz. they were SPARKLY. totally fun shoes. she caught me & karen looking at them a few times during the night.. she grinned but didn't say anything.

and oh! the cocktails at Mosskito's were pretty nice. not as gorgeous as chocolate buddha's, but pretty good all the same. since it was a hot night, they had a special on frozen daiquiris... the cosmopolitan was okay, but the melon mist was melony good! i had two. no warm fuzzies out of it, but the cold was refreshing and i do like the melon. karen took a sip of mine and promptly ordered one for herself ^-^ they were so cool.. bright green slushies in a cocktail glass.. or is it a martini glass? i forget. but it looked and tasted cool.

food's a bit of orright, too - i had the calamari with chips & salad.. so did Gav. when the plates arrived, both of us were surprised that the calamari wasn't in rings. then again, i guess the menu didn't say the "calamari rings" as such, but.. rings are so much more fun! i mean, it just looked kind of like thin fish bites until you bit into it and thought, "oh! it's squiddy."

karen's chicken parma arrived with so much sloppy cheese on top, it looked like a wonky-shaped marguerita pizza. maybe i'll try it next time.

i wish i'd thought to order something small, and save room for dessert. Shan ordered a slice of sticky-date cake, and it was HUGE, with this super-generous slap of ice-cream and covered in a butterscotchy sauce. i don't like dates, but it looked damn good all the same. and Chris & Maggie's chocolate cake was like WHOA. it was even taller than Shan's slice and it looked SOOOOO tasty. think mud cake, split in half and with a thick layer of white-chocolate cream slatered in the middle. and a heaping helping of ice-cream. and a ball of chocolatey goodness on top. and some chocolate shavings.

mega-cocoa overdose on a plate. if i hadn't been so stuffed full (Mosskito's has rather large servings.. should've shared with someone..) i would have tried a bite of cake...

anyway, it was fun. caught up on all the goss, watched as Karen tested Gav's mental health (i'm so glad she wasn't asking me questions.. i think i would have failed..), drank cocktails, pointed out various places in my pocket-size street directory (everyone found out where they lived in comparison to everyone else, and i discovreed Shan doesn't live in woop-woop after all.. she just lives far away from the rest of us!), examined the box of korean condoms that Karen & Shan bought for Gav (has anyone ever heard of Lemonation?)

actually, the box was pretty funny. it's a real nice box.. looks like a matchbox, complete with sandpapery strip along the side, and everything's wrapped in fancy paper on the inside.

kind of the way you'd expect japanese chewing gum to be packaged.

i'll never look at wrapped chewy the same way again.

got a call this morning - landed myself a job interview tomorrow with a small company dealing with consultancy in legal/environmental/OHS issues.

i don't really want to go, but i did apply, so i guess the polite thing to do would be to show up.

had dinner at chocolate buddha with lyddie and tarks last night.

haven't seen my girls in ages ^-^ since christmas!

so we updated each other on current life crises:
- lyddie's object of affection has been flirting with her, but she's discovered he has a girlfriend, so now she's on the prowl again...
- tarks is readying herself for a biiiig 4-month round-the-world holiday, but only has enough a budget of $100 a day... which could be tough to live on, considering her plans include Europe and New York...

all while eating yummy japanese-style food. i swear, i have never had such good gyudon (beef teriyaki rice?). it's all done nice and tasty-like.. well, it's tasty if you're a meat-eater. you don't get those well-done thin slivers like you would in some eateries.. the beef comes in juicy flame-grilled morsels, done medium-rare, so it's delicious and soft and oh-so-yummy. with a nice lightly-grilled flavour. did i mention they were juicy? ^-^ and these little beef nibblets were perched prettily on a soft bed of white fluffy steamed rice, accompanied by a rainbow of pickled vegies (which i didn't eat, but they looked real purdy ^-^) and a little nest of tasty yam noodles.

yum. ^-^ so, yeah, i fully recommend the gyudon at chocolate buddha in federation square. it is GOOD.

the cocktails are pretty sweet, too. lyddie had a geisha girl (heheheh...), which looked quite pretty and pink with figgy wedges or something... it was basically a pink and green bubbly-looking mix, and i can't for the life of me remember what was in it, only that it was served in a tumbler-like glass with crushed ice.

i went for a sake apple crunch. i've never had sake before, but man, it's punchy. it arrived in a martini glass (stylin'!) with a stick of cinnamon floating on top...

..it tasted like apple pie.

..well, the way apple pie would be, if it was cold and liquid and didn't have pie-crust...

..or apple pieces..

but yeah, it was quite tasty, too. and about what i said about punchy?

after one sip, i swear, it slid down to my tummy and immediately it was like my insides were GLOWING. i got a total case of the warm fuzzies. if i could've taken an x-ray of my guts, i would've seen a cheshire cat. and perhaps a small confused woolly sheep.

one sip.

whoa.

i've never had warm fuzzies after a drinkie before.

not even when i downed three straight shots of spirits. (it was only midori, mind you, but still. three shots. that's concentrated alcohol! or so i thought.)

must've been the sake.

i wonder how much was in the cocktail.

so, yeah, you can imagine, after drinking the entire thing, i was feeling REALLY happy. (so was lyddie.) we had the biggest smiles on our faces.

i so could have hugged anyone at that point. i beamed at the waitress when we asked for our bill. and when she smiled back, i thought:
"people are lovely. i LOVE people. people are excellent."

and on the train home, i felt so lightheaded. i think i kept alternating between giggling, smiling, and unfocused staring all the way home. and then i started to feel a little sleepy on the bus.

i'm surprised i managed to find my way from the bus stop to home, in the dark.

i didn't think one cocktail could do me in so badly, but.. i have a feeling i'd be a happy drunk, if i ventured more than a few cocktails in one night.

maybe i'd be a friendlier person if i had a sake apple crunch every day.

yeah. an apple a day...

as a precaution, i kept my phone switched off for valentine's day. was i being paranoid? hell, yeah. was i being egotistical? well.. probably that, too.

either way, i flicked the phone on again that night, and lo and behold... a text message.

no prizes for guessing who it was from. bleagh.

and so it says, trying to be casual as all hell:

"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Hey, how r u? Today I had been working the whole day. Did u do anything today?"

there's something that annoys me about the whole text-message language when it's so obviously not done right. if you're going to shorten things, shorten as much as you can, and to hell with capitals. punctuation is optional. and if you shout out a valentine greeting and follow it up with a transparent, lame attempt to be casual, you deserve to be half-drowned by having your cranium flushed IN A PUBLIC TOILET.

i look at those few sentences and it still makes me homicidal.

maybe it's because no matter how hard he tries, the Pest still comes off as being hopelessly dweebus. compared to this guy, dorks and dags are uber-cool.

but, on the positive side, the text message did leave me an opening, for the sort of reply i'd been wanting to say for ages...

i texted him back on wednesday:

"You had to work yesterday? Poor you! I had a great time - spent the whole day with my boyfriend. Funfun!!"

i was gleeful for hours afterward. Pam took one look at me, and remarked that i looked rather pleased with myself. i was grinning like an idiot because sending that message made me SO DAMN HAPPY! i was absolutely euphoric.

and, really, the text was technically true. i spent the whole day on the computer, satisfying my inner geek by playing various Neverwinter Nights modules. i love my computer. it's an EXCELLENT sort-of-kind-of boyfriend. especially when it's so full of gaming goodness. (who needs snogging anyway? the computer never gave ME a virus.. or stood me up.. or kept me hanging waiting for a reply.. so, ha!)

so, having delivered my message-of-danciness, i continued working for the rest of the day, being an absolutely super-happy cheerful little shop assistant.

the last message i've heard from him goes thus:

"It's good 2 hear that u had a great time yesterday. God bless!"

and after that... blissful silence.

and damn, i hope it lasts!

it's 5:15pm, and i'm pricing cards when guess who walks through the shop door.

"i just finished work in carlton, and i'm going home now. do you want a lift?"

no. and unlike some people, i don't finish at 5. i finish much later.

"oh. do you want a lift?"

(i swear he never hears anything that i actually say.)

i said no. i'm fine.

he just stands there, looking stupid. i wish i wasn't alone in the shop. why did bruce have to go for a milkshake NOW?

i go back to pricing cards.

"anyway, i'll see you next time."

noncommittal growl from me.

(pleasepleasePLEASE don't visit on saturday!!!)

i'm thanking my lucky stars that i'm not working on tuesday. i couldn't deal with a bout of Pestilence on valentine's day.

i'd be forced to resort to homicide.

i just did this personality quiz thingy that karen had posted on her blog.. and i was curious, and had time to waste, so i took a shot at it...

and by frog, looks like i have some personality-improvement to do!!!

trait snapshot:

introverted, secretive, messy, depressed, does not like leadership, somewhat nihilistic, observer, does not make friends easily, unassertive, feels invisible, feels  undesirable, hates large parties, does not like to stand out, leisurely, suspicious, submissive, abstract, unpredictable, intellectual, likes rain, likes the unknown, negative, weird, not a risk taker, unadventurous, avoidant, strange

gwahaha! i'm strange and suspicious!!!

i'm poking around the Bargain Bookshop when Pestilence reappears.

"hi, Carol. i just saw you leaving the newsagency - are you going to have lunch?" (NO. well, i WAS, but now that you're here, no. will go to Borders to find book instead.)

"i'll come join you." (NO!!!!) i hate it that he just invites himself.

so i go into Borders, and browse around the New Arrivals. Pestilence goes to look at magazines or something. I wander to the manga section, and pick up Fruits Basket #13. Pest doesn't follow, so I figure I'll just buy my book and leave.

after i've bought the book, he's nowhere to be seen. i feel absolutely no guilt in leaving without telling him - hey, he's the one who toddled off. if he's not here to see me leaving the shop, well, it's not my problem.

i return to the newsagents, and i tell my boss Bruce about it.

Bruce gives me some stuff to type up for him while i wait till it's safe to go eat lunch.

after work, on my way home on the bus, i check my mobile. there's a missed call and a notification message from telstra. i'm pretty sure they're both Pest's phone number.

it rings just as the bus is going down towards the freeway. Pest's number. no way am i picking it up.

when i get home, there's ANOTHER missed call. and a text message.

"hey Carol, i couldn't find u in the bookstore 2day. were u upset with me?"

HELL yeah, he never seems to understand that i'm not joking when i say i'd rather not go for lunch. that i'd rather he didn't come visit me at work. MORON.

Bruce says he's persistent.

i say he's deluded if he thinks that my rudeness and lots of "NO" means the opposite.

i'm not being shy. I JUST DON'T LIKE HIM.

it's like he's completely dismissed what i told him last year, before he went to thailand.

as if it was just some silly shyness phase i was going through at the time. as if i was in denial, or just being contrary, playing DAMN IMPOSSIBLE TO GET and didn't really mean what i said.

as if he thought i'd change my mind while he was away.

at Isaac's 21st birthday party, at the start of January this year. Pestilence turns up. he sees ONE empty seat at the very end of the table i'm sitting at.

the only people he knows on my table are Daniel and Alvin, but he plonks himself into the empty seat anyway. there's plenty of seats elsewhere, but noooo, he chooses the one table that i had the misfortune to sit at. i get that sinking feeling.

Sharon, who'd been sitting next to me, goes to change baby Sammi's nappy. Pestilence jumps up from his chair and plonks himself into Sharon's seat and STARTS TO TALK.

about thailand. about how he didn't want to leave thailand. (I WISH HE'D STAYED THERE!!)

Becky saw my misery and ran over to rescue me, dragging me over to another table. a FULL table, so that she and i had to share a seat, but i could have thrown my arms around her and told her i owed her FOREVER. if i didn't think people would be watching.

Ailz and Becky were very sympathetic, after all they'd grilled me on the whole stalker fiasco on the long drive home from Arlington.

then, on the very Thursday after Isaac's party, Pestilence showed up at the newsagents, wanting to know if i was going on my lunchbreak soon.

IT WAS ONLY 11am.

i said no, i don't go for lunch that early. and my other boss, Pam, had a 1:00 lunch appointment with a rep. Marguerite from Currant Ink Design. they'll be awhile. Bruce chipped in, helpfully saying that business lunches can take hours, especially if they're both women who also happen to be friends.

"i can wait a few hours," the Pest replies.

Bruce can see me cringe.

i tell the Pest not to bother, he should just go on home.

he finally leaves, and i flop over on the counter in relief.

Bruce, Pam and Marguerite come over to the counter, Marguerite looking curious. Pam tells her all about the one she's dubbed the "Persistent Pest".

they all feel sorry for me.

Pam and Marguerite go for lunch at 1pm.

Pestilence reappears at 2:30, asking if i can go to lunch yet. (FECK. i thought he'd taken the hint and GONE, but noooo. i'm not that lucky.)

i tell him Pam's not back yet. (and really, she's not.) Bruce says that she could be awhile. i tell the Pest just to go home.

he looks hesitant, then recovers and says he'll drop by next time he's in the area. i tell him i'd rather he didn't. i'll just see him at church.

he leaves.

at that point, the first week of January, i'd hoped THAT was the end of it, but i guess not. three weeks later, after saturday and today, he still doesn't get the idea.

i mean, today he was all, "oh, i just came from a job interview in the area, on Lesner street." (lester street? leicester street?)

i couldn't have cared less, except that i twigged and suddenly worried that he was trying to get a job in the same area as me.

looks like I may have to move to Sydney to find publishing work after all, and hope he doesn't follow me there.

Mr Persistence turned up unexpectedly just as I'm buying lunch at Il Fresco today.

damn.

I walked off, sat down, flipped open my newspaper, and started eating my salad wrap.

he buys noodles from the oriental place, plonks himself down at my table and proceeds to talk.

asks how I'm going. (fine. same as last time.)

explains why he wasn't at church on sunday. (did i ask? i never asked. didn't notice. didn't care - i wasn't there either, dumbass.)

says his parents were in town and he took them to Eildoon or something, so he didn't go to the church's Chinese New Year Karaoke Night. (bully for him. i was delighted at his absence.)

remarks that he also didn't want to go because he didn't want to get involved with the Amos group's "performance" - he didn't understand their humour. (he doesn't understand any humour. or sarcasm. or slang. or anything, come to think of it.)

asked me what you're supposed to give people at chinese new year. (oranges. fruit. red flowers, when visiting your rellies. i mean, duh. he CAME from hong kong, idiot. what would i know? i'm a frickin' banana ABC!!)

soon as i finished my lunch, i got up to leave. he looked surprised. (twit. i have to get back to work. just because HE's wandering around my workplace for no apparent reason does NOT mean that i have time to waste as well.)

he recovered from his stunned face in time to tell me that, well, of course, he had to get going too, because he was meeting with the Amos group this afternoon. (fantastic. i wasn't about to stop him from leaving, in fact, i encourage it heartily. GO!)

he asks if the guy i'm working with, Bob, is new. (aha! so he came after me, after seeing i wasn't at the newsagents. and yes, Bob is new.)

he asks how old Bob is. (I dunno, uni age. why the hell does he care? is he so concerned the poor child is an underage worker?)

he says he'll walk me back to the newsagents. (it's only a few damn metres away.)

casually mentions that his aunt works in the clothes boutique across from the newsagency. (greaaaaaaat.)

so he can drop by more often since his aunt works around here too. (FRGHSHNAGGGAAAAA!! and much gnashing of teeth.)

i walk back into the newsagents. see you at church. (said as pointedly as possible. but, being the clueless moron he is, he probably wouldn't pick up on the suble hints of "pike off, i don't want to see you here now.")

...an hour later, i'm dropping off deliveries to the jewellery shop across the road and also to our main newsagents a few streets down, in the rain, with my umbrella.

guess who's looking in the window of the Student Flights Centre up ahead. i cringe. i thought he would have gone already. but nooo, here he is, and he walks over to talk to me AGAIN. (a normal person would just smile and wave, and move on, right???)

"what are you doing out here?" he asks. (magazine delivery. i work on this street, genius.)

"where are you going?" (somewhere else. preferable before the rain gets worse.)

"i'll walk with you." (oh god, please, NO!!)

and so he proceeds to walk, umbrella-less, in the downpour. he glances at my nice big umbrella expectantly, and shuffles under it. (you can HAVE the effing brolly, just get away from me!!!)

at the main newsagents, i drop off the mail and a cheque, and head back the way i came.

he shuffles under the umbrella again. (i'm tempted to throw it at him and tell him to pike off.)

he says he parked his car behind somewhere near where i work. (so why the hell follow me, in the plonking rain, IN THE FROGGING OPPOSITE DIRECTION???)

he asked again about where you can buy chinese new year gifts. (full points for listening before, space cadet.)

then he said he'd walk me back to the newsagency. i said nah, you go back to your car. i know the way back.

he follows, anyway. i grit my teeth.

i stomp back to the newsagents and newbie Bob.

he goes off wherever. the Amos group starts at 5pm.

...an hour later, he's back again. (it's almost 5pm.) "Happy Chinese New Year," he says, and ignores my expresionless face, and puts a package on the counter.

it's wrapped in ladybug & flowers & hearts paper. i stare at it blankly. (he really must think i'm some sort of girly-girl. first the potpourri teddy bear, the dainty little goldfoil chocolates, and now THIS monstrosity.)

i found some words to say. "you didn't have to get me anything. i'm not your family." (or your friend. or your ANYTHING. so PIKE OFF before i do something homicidal.)

"it's a gift," he replies, as if that explains everything. (noooo, really?)

"i have to get going, anyway. Amos starts at 5:00." (you said that already. and that's where i thought you were going before? like, STRAIGHT AFTER LUNCH???)

"see you at church." (not if i can pigging help it.)

i don't want any blasted "gifts" from him.